Causing Pain
Is it hurting anybody?
Murder? Well yes, obviously it's wrong. It's hurting someone to the Nth degree. Stealing? Probably, but actually maybe not, especially if it's something so small it'd never be noticed. Lying? Only in certain circumstances. And of course anything that's strictly internal - like coveting or lust ...well, it's laughable that you'd even consider the question.
But here's the thing: Many sins that we commit against others DO cause pain, some of it excruciating and persistent. Where there is pain, looking for the sin is a natural and likely-helpful response.
But there's an important distinction to make: Pain is the RESULT of many sins, it is not sin itself.
Why does this matter? Because simply causing someone pain does not automatically mean that what was done was sinful. In fact, there is much in life that causes pain that is actually beneficial.
The classic example would probably be physical training. "No pain, no gain" as they say. Or physical therapy after an injury or surgery. The jab of a needle that administers life-saving medicine. A doctor who sets a bone that has been broken.
Or in the emotional and spiritual realm: the opening up of old wounds in order to bring forgiveness and reconciliation. A parent correcting and rebuking their child. Or most importantly, the crushing weight of the hammer of God's Law revealing our sin to us, so that we may turn to Christ as our Savior from that sin.
The thing is, though, that the conscience can get confused sometimes. Sometimes the right thing to do means hurting someone. This is something that my own conscience is particularly sensitive to. As a result, even though I've considered things in light of God's Word, and what I'm doing might be, I believe, the most faithful thing that I can do in this situation, the pain that I'm causing makes my conscience flare up, leaving me agonized and loaded down with guilt.
Now, the conscience is a good gift from God...but it is a part of our fallen humanity, and as such is flawed. It must be constantly calibrated by the Scriptures. Usually when my conscience pricks me, there is indeed something of which I need to repent. But in this scenario, to repent would be wrong. Causing pain is not, in and of itself, sin.
Life isn't as black-and-white as I wish that it were. Sometimes we're caught between a rock and a hard place. We're given two options, and both cause someone pain. Which do you choose? "Consider your place in life according to the 10 Commandments." What vocations has God placed you in? These have a hierarchy. Some are primary (think Christian, spouse, parent, child), and others secondary (friend, neighbor, co-worker, etc.) To place your relationship with a neighbor, for example, over that of your child, would be wrong; if you must hurt one, let it be the neighbor.
Have you sinned? Maybe. I suppose there are plenty of instances where both options are sin. Even our best works are tainted by sin, honestly, so imagining that there's a completely sin-free option is a fool's errand.
So I guess...I hate causing pain, especially in those that I care about. But I also need to be careful not to let my conscience load me down with guilt, when I'm as confident as I can be that what I'm doing is in agreement with the Word of God, considering my vocations and the 10 Commandments.
I hate it. But sometimes its necessary. And maybe it's small consolation for the one on the receiving end, but...I feel the pain too.
-M
Previous Post: Why a Blog, Not a Journal?
Next Post: Just Be Yourself