Self-Restraint
"Everything in moderation, including moderation." - Oscar Wilde
Restraint. It's needed in every aspect of life, it seems. From the food we eat, to the money we spend, to sleep, to leisure...the natural tendency is to give ourselves free rein and just let loose, no holds barred.
What we consume is the easiest, most obvious example. What I want is to eat whatever I'm currently craving, right when I'm craving it. Mashed potatoes, broccoli, and pork chops for dinner? Meh...I'm feeling more like burgers and fries, thankyouverymuch. And how much to eat? Until I'm just satisfied? Ohhhh no. I want to eat until I don't FEEL like eating anymore, which is usually way past the point of satiation.
Money is another obvious area. What I want is to buy whatever I'm currently desiring, right when I'm desiring it. It's easy to make excuses: It's on sale! We can justify it! Yada yada.
But it actually applies to good things, too. One can, in fact, exercise too much, or too intensely. (Ok, it's rare, but it does occur!) It's possible to restrict food TOO much, to be frugal to the point of stinginess, to limit sleep to the point of deprivation that causes real problems, to refuse to take a break to where you make yourself physically ill.
Are there any areas of life that DON'T require restraint? The older I get, and the more things I realize I need to exercise self-control in, the more I think...maybe not. We're always in danger of falling off the horse on one side or the other, of stumbling into the right-hand ditch or the left-hand...of being dexterously goody-two-shoes, or down right sinister (is it a bad sign that I'm now attempting to make really bad Latin jokes?)
The thing is...I'm stinking tired of it. Sure, there's the food that always (always!) needs ridiculous restraint. And the money. And the sleep. Time is a big one these days. And exercise vs relaxing. And just general tasks that need doing, that I have no desire or energy to do. Even abstract things like lines of thought, emotions, and relationships require restraint, and can go off the rails quickly without it.
But, isn't there anything that I can just let go of? Go "all in" on? Let down my guard and give myself free rein to do as I please?
Wisdom seems to say, "No."
And I guess this makes sense. To cast off restraint is to let Old Adam have a field day, and that guy is ALWAYS getting into trouble.
God's Law is there, primarily, to show us our sin. But it also has this important job of keeping things in check in our lives as Christians - curbing us, and also guiding us to show what a good work is.
The good news is, though, that He tells us that this is a fruit of the Spirit, which He has given to us freely. It doesn't matter if it comes naturally to me or not (does self-denial come naturally to anyone, though, I wonder?!) He gives me what I need by giving me the Holy Spirit, who produces this fruit in me.
If I manage to pump the brakes, throw a leash on that puppy, or pull on the reins, that's a good thing, and I know that no good thing dwells in me. Rather, it is God working in me, answering my prayer, "Thy will be done." Because, my word...my will looks like zero restraint, of the Epicurean sort.
Even so, though, Satan, the world, and my sin nature all conspire, such that I So. Very. Often. Fail at this. As I said, I am tired. I am weak, and I am weary. In that case, looking inward for signs of the Holy Spirit at work as reassurance - for signs of self-control and self-discipline - is a fool's errand. I'm not likely to find it, and if I do, my ego will quickly try to snatch the credit.
Rather, I should look to the One who always did all things in perfect moderation, never giving in to the temptation to excess. Jesus resisted his desire to eat when doing so would have been contrary to God's will, for example.
However, when it came to us - His beloved - He spared no expense. He went "all in." He sold all He had to buy the pearl, to purchase the field, to find the lost sheep. He was extravagant to an embarrassing degree, going so far as to actually give up His very life in pursuit of that which He desired above all else.
And having purchased us, He pours out His forgiveness so excessively and abundantly - like a man giving a lavish banquet and inviting the beggars on the street - giving it to us freely not just once or in one way, but as often as we desire, through Baptism, the Absolution, the Word, the Supper, and through mutual consolation.
Here, there is no moderation. Here, the floodgates are wide open, with nothing to check their flow. Here, I bring absolutely nothing, and I get everything.
-M